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Gabriel, aka the Trickster
19 February 2014 @ 05:59 pm
You know what to do.

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Gabriel, aka the Trickster
12 December 2011 @ 01:10 am
[The body swap was a lot of laughs- even Gabriel has to admit he had fun. In fact, when he turns on the PCD, it's with a grin and a plan to be a complete bitch at everyone who spent the past week in total anguish. Once again, older siblings have found it best to keep him in the dark regarding certain things and so, once again, Gabriel is about to be shocked.

His look of comfort and tranquility, the preparation for a good joke- it all comes crashing down when he feels the sudden shock wave of an angel passing- to a human, it would be nothing more than a sudden flash of light, for someone in tune with spiritual energy, it's a tidal wave of raw power burning out like a dying star. To Gabriel, it's just agony. He flinches and then sucks in a breath.]

Well, gang. I had something to say. Then that happened. [And that's about as cool a response at the moment as anyone's gonna get. The uncharacteristic look of worry is the last thing seen before he slams a hand down on the PCD to shut it off. The moment he comes back to respond to the myriad of questions about that, he'll be calmer, but no less thirsting to rip someone's spleen out through their ass, assuming Lucifer didn't get there first.]
Gabriel, aka the Trickster
18 October 2011 @ 10:28 am
I guess it's safe to say our fearless leaders were getting sick of our corner of the world calling dibs on all the action. That or maybe this is my karmic justice for giving Rei a hard time about her cheerleading squad losing a few members in rapid succession.

The thing is... I'm not actually that bothered. Oh, sure, we're now one short to having a complete set of Winchesters and Raphael has to take up the The Chick mantle, but is where they're ending up after this really all that crappy compared to this sinkhole? ...Don't answer that. I know, things get kinda grim back home. I don't usually look on the bright side of life, so let me just have this moment, hmm?

Oh, and speaking of Raphael.... Why didn't you tell me about your promotion, bro? We could've thrown a party.

[And this is Gabriel, trying to show he's not bothered by life when he is, in fact, bothered by EVERYTHING. Life sucks, man.]
Gabriel, aka the Trickster
28 September 2011 @ 09:50 am
[Gabriel's a lot more placid than he was the last time he was affected in this way- for one thing, he's well aware of it and while he doesn't want to go around flaunting it, his family's become.... Well, insane would be the word for it. And someone needs to apologize for that.

Somehow this coming from a Gabriel in a suit with a vaguely droll expression that wouldn't have looked out of place on Lucifer is not comforting. When he speaks, he lacks the eccentricity in his speech most are accustomed to- just flat, lilting, vaguely condescending. Because he is better than all of you. Yep.]

You'd think after so many of the Animus's games, a group of angels would know better than to buy into their new impulses.

I mean, really. You'd think they were human or something.

[Yep. This was public on purpose and that last bit of Gabriel's speech makes it clear he's a hypocrite. Goading humans is, apparently, fun for Doucheriel Mark Two.]
Gabriel, aka the Trickster
09 September 2011 @ 12:42 pm
[As the PCD comes on, Gabriel massages his forehead with the exasperation of someone whose limitless patience got used up ages ago. He has a whiskey decantur in front of him. He also has the remains of at least ten dead soldier Sweet 'n' Low packets. 

....It's best not to imagine where said sweetener met its end. Suffice to say, no one besides Gabriel will be touching that whiskey.]

It's times like this, I almost miss the old gig, but, hey. Best leave keeping the crazies in Arkham to the young and fit, right? Incidentally, has the sea of megalomania finally ebbed? 'Cause if I hear one more evil laugh, I'm gonna withdraw my 'not a part of your bullshit anymore' slip long enough to flip something. The Animus are insane enough without you blockheads adding arsenic to the punchbowl.
Gabriel, aka the Trickster
15 August 2011 @ 11:18 am
 Anyone getting the sneaking suspicion that it sounds like a great night for an exorcism?

[Filtered to Rei]

I'm gonna say this in the least insulting way I possibly can. Are you a moron?

[Filtered to Jinx]

Get out. Of that house. Right now. If I have to risk my ass to come over there and drag you, so help me, kid, I will. 

[Filtered to Castiel]

Keep Rei safe and by the way? Don't tell me what to do.

[Filtered to Anna]

You don't wanna know and can I have my sword back?

[Filtered to Lucifer, Raphael, and Michael]

I'm the one who told Rei. Touch Castiel and I'm gonna make this a bigger problem than you want it to be.

[Filtered to Sam and Dean]

If I die again, just imagine there's a porno Last Will and Testament. I don't have time to make one on the fly. Let's just say things are getting really apocalyptic here. You boys might wanna lock the doors and protect Dean's couch.
Gabriel, aka the Trickster
 [The PCD angles on the remains of... Well, what used to be a table, but now it's just a pile of charred ash. Alas, poor table. After a moment, Gabriel flips it around to reveal him looking THE SMUGGEST EVER.]

Anyone got an extra table lying around? Ours caught something and sadly had to be put down. [Obviously, he could just manifest a table, but he's being a dick and you will all suffer for it.]


[Jinx will find her room littered with rose petals and a note that says, "If it helps, pretend they're from Lucifer. I'm over telling you how to live your life, sweetness, and jacking off a dead horse is so not how I wanna spend my time here. 

Just don't think you've gotten rid of me. We still got a bet going."] 
Gabriel, aka the Trickster
11 July 2011 @ 12:44 pm
[The fact that Gabriel's shut his big trap and turned to text for this post should HORRIFY ANYONE. Thanks for the hives, Jinx. He has lesions in places he didn't think his vessel HAD. :|]

I'm done. I'm out. Can I go home now? I think I hit my quota of misery and suffering.
Gabriel, aka the Trickster
09 June 2011 @ 03:24 pm
 Okay. I knew most of you were idiots from the jump, but really? You're just gonna eat the sheep and shear the sheep and, for all I know, do unspeakable things with the sheep and not even wonder if this could go wrong even a little

Bravo, gang. If you need me, I'll be over here, mocking your pain when this goes horribly wrong for you.

[Offline for Lucifer]

Luuucy. We need to talk.
Gabriel, aka the Trickster
23 May 2011 @ 11:40 pm
 [In the most droll tone ever]

Hope everyone didn't forget their copies of the Zombie Survival Handbook.

[And then, cheerfully.]

But for all you "brave" souls out there that just have to go out and poke things and ignore every basic horror movie rule ever, here's a little mood music for you. 

[And you thought the background music is over, but no. Gabriel's blasting "It's the End of the World As We Know It" for you all to enjoy. Happy zombies, children.]

[Private to the Angel Brigade]

If one of you gets bitten, I draw so many lines at harvesting brains.
Gabriel, aka the Trickster
10 May 2011 @ 10:41 pm
 [You know what would be awesome right now?

Some nice sounds of the 70's. But what does Gabriel get from the Animus?

This. And now he's sharing it.

Congratulations, gang. You've just been Rick-Rolled. As it stands, there's just disembodied music playing over an empty room. Gabriel's just lurking somewhere in a corner waiting on reactions, because... Honestly, Rick Astley on a loop on top of everything else? MADNESS.

Well, at least the event gave him an excuse to avoid his family issues. By ruining everyone's day. After about the fifth time, the song loops, Gabriel can be heard offscreen.]

I'm giving it to ten before everyone in town tries to break down the gates on their own.. Because this, my friends? This is true madness. 
Gabriel, aka the Trickster
24 April 2011 @ 05:01 pm
 [And here is our former megalomaniac archangel, currently surrounded by a ring of holy fire somewhere near the Inner City, looking annoyed with the WORLD, but he's at least suitless and back to his normal Bass Pro Shop chic attire. When he speaks, it's in annoyed sing-song.]

Okaaaay. I'm back to normal now. One of you mooks better get your winged asses down here and let me out.

[He does not want to talk about what happened. He does not want to talk about ANYTHING. HE JUST WANTS TO STOP BEING JOHNNY CASH.]
Gabriel, aka the Trickster
04 April 2011 @ 08:07 pm
[Gabriel's just golf-clapping away in a chair in his little pseudo-apartment, looking more than a little bemused. When he speaks, he's obviously addressing the Animus.]

Nice show, guys. Points for creativity, but I'm still a little iffy on the punchline here. I mean... The Great Fursona Epidemic and now this? I'm not getting it. Love your style though. I'm sure we could talk this out- divine being to divine being. What d'you guys say? Hm?

[And, of course, there is no immediate response. Maybe they don't get good cell phone reception. He sighs and slumps in his chair.]

So. Anyone want a tiger?
Gabriel, aka the Trickster
20 March 2011 @ 02:19 pm
[You can't actually see Gabriel... Just the weirdly classy (and by "classy,"  it looks like something ripped off the set of "Boogie Nights") apartment that is not so much an apartment as some random friggin' building he repurposed the interior of through abuse of angel magic, because that's how he rolls. When he speaks, it's offscreen.]

Okay, so. I like to think I've managed to get off pretty easy in the first month of being stuck in this sinkhole... Barring the fact that I go off on a vision quest for five minutes [and by vision quest, he means searching for this aforementioned building to make his home in] and as soon as I get back, it's like everyone went to prom with Freddy Kreuger. And no. I don't take complaints about my brother. If he's pissing you off, you can take it up with him. I'm not his keeper.

And how about that revolving door? Eesh. Is the turnover rate that bad here?  If it is? Where's my golden ticket? This place brings abysmal to all new levels. Oh, speaking of. Which of our glorious leaders do I have to thank for these?

[He steps into camera's view, holding a drink that's electric blue and has an umbrella in it. It offsets his new "addition." Yes, he has wings too. California Condor wings. They're not folded, just stretched out as far as he can comfortably get them because they are huge. fucking. wings. They're also mantling, which is a surefire give away that while he's cool and casual, he kind of wants to end something.]

If I hear one word about someone ringing a bell- oh, it's on.
Gabriel, aka the Trickster
27 February 2011 @ 12:50 pm
[At first when the feed comes on, it's to a lot of dramatic sighing... And some tapping on the PCD, because what the hell is this fuckery. All of this is said in the most congenial tone ever.]

Okay. You got me. I'm in that freaky "Lucifer wins, everyone dies" reality, right? Yeah- saw it, already. Skipped ahead in the history textbook, remember? Don't I get a gold star for that or something? Look, it's a great place, but I wouldn't wanna live here, so I'm just gonna pop right on out and if this is Zachariah? Good luck chasing me. You could stand to lose a few pounds and maybe- y'know when you realize you aren't getting anywhere near this- you can get a rug while you're at it. I think the Trump look would look awesome on you.

And if this is Lucifer? ...No. Wait. Never mind. This isn't Lucy's style at all. Yeah, that's right, boys. I think Satan has more chutspa than you winged jackasses when it comes to tricks. And when I find out which one of you is playing games with me, I'm gonna shove your halo so far up your ass, your lungs'll look like they're into BDSM. You think I'm joking? Try me, boys.

You're probably wondering why I'm yelling at you through this thing. In fact, you're probably thinking, "Gee, Gabriel really did go off the deep end when he skipped out." Well, I'll set the record straight right now. First of all, this is not me yelling. If I were yelling, we would be seeing some fits that would make the destruction of Pompeii look like a kid's science project. Second of all, one of you is fucking with my radio. Knock it off. I know I don't tune in very often, but there's no excuse for this much static.

[There's a pause, like he's waiting for an answer. Actually, he was just trying to get OUT, but it... Didn't work. That is problematic. Cue Gabriel's tone sounding a little more dangerous, but still kind of congenial.]

Y'know, boys, eventually, this is gonna sort itself out and when I can tell where I am and where all of you are? Screw hiding. Not doing me much good anyway, since that feline's been way outta the burlap for awhile now. You drew first blood and I still outrank you. And I know how much you all missed me shoving you into lockers.